hahaha. didnt realise its so long since i last updated it.....partly bcuz msn space really lags beyond human understanding...lyk wat i'm typin now is comin out lyk in chunks and bits in a few seconds each time....i hate this. ah well. gotta make do wif it i guess. dots. aniwaes, in this couple of months i realised how many perspectives can affect how one thinks and acts. be it in his walk wif the Lord or simply normal decisions made in everyday life. and perhaps sometimes as Man we think too much into details and forget the big picture of why we are doing what we are doing. the cross, the salvation, all had been lost in our entangled web of thoughts and eating us from the inside out and bein replaced by human knowledge and understandings. wat i had failed to understand is that God doesnt need to be understood more than wat is really needed. if we seek more than what we need to know, our answers will be of nothin from the Lord and everythin from our minds:misunderstandings,misconceptions. all these birthing out bitterness and doubt in the Lord. don't ask me why im givin such cheemnology outta sudden, im readin philosophy. so there.

 

all this happenings had been makin me think back of my calling, be it leader or not, comin back as a simple child, not one who comes wif knowledge but one that comes wif faith alone. if my walk is simply abt rising in leadership then perhaps i had been treadin on a wrong path...or i had mistook this 4 what i truly desired. if that is true then perhaps this is as far as this dream can bring me to, and that it's time to be awake. but if this 'theories' are yet ideas from a dry spirit'd mind, then i will continue to in this walk, along this spiritual sand beach that is washin away all my past footsteps, givin me no chance of turning back. if life is truly more than this, then may God show it to me once more. if it's a wound that i had recieved, then may His eternal grace heal me, it will be his 1000 steps, will i haf the faith to take that 1 step once more? i know the answer to this question even before i had pondered abt it, but will i be able to move along wif my answer?

 

it had been a long 1 month++. i am too tired right now to really be bothered abt wat i am suppose 2 do. all i ever wan is to hide under His magnificent wings once again, gainin the peace i had lost so long ago....or is that really what i wish 4? so much questions, so little time.