hahaha. didnt realise its so long since i last updated it.....partly bcuz msn space really lags beyond human understanding...lyk wat i'm typin now is comin out lyk in chunks and bits in a few seconds each time....i hate this. ah well. gotta make do wif it i guess. dots. aniwaes, in this couple of months i realised how many perspectives can affect how one thinks and acts. be it in his walk wif the Lord or simply normal decisions made in everyday life. and perhaps sometimes as Man we think too much into details and forget the big picture of why we are doing what we are doing. the cross, the salvation, all had been lost in our entangled web of thoughts and eating us from the inside out and bein replaced by human knowledge and understandings. wat i had failed to understand is that God doesnt need to be understood more than wat is really needed. if we seek more than what we need to know, our answers will be of nothin from the Lord and everythin from our minds:misunderstandings,misconceptions. all these birthing out bitterness and doubt in the Lord. don't ask me why im givin such cheemnology outta sudden, im readin philosophy. so there.

 

all this happenings had been makin me think back of my calling, be it leader or not, comin back as a simple child, not one who comes wif knowledge but one that comes wif faith alone. if my walk is simply abt rising in leadership then perhaps i had been treadin on a wrong path...or i had mistook this 4 what i truly desired. if that is true then perhaps this is as far as this dream can bring me to, and that it's time to be awake. but if this 'theories' are yet ideas from a dry spirit'd mind, then i will continue to in this walk, along this spiritual sand beach that is washin away all my past footsteps, givin me no chance of turning back. if life is truly more than this, then may God show it to me once more. if it's a wound that i had recieved, then may His eternal grace heal me, it will be his 1000 steps, will i haf the faith to take that 1 step once more? i know the answer to this question even before i had pondered abt it, but will i be able to move along wif my answer?

 

it had been a long 1 month++. i am too tired right now to really be bothered abt wat i am suppose 2 do. all i ever wan is to hide under His magnificent wings once again, gainin the peace i had lost so long ago....or is that really what i wish 4? so much questions, so little time.

 

 

 

 

another camp had passed. lookin back its the third time im postin abt camp. ha. let's see.

 

moved loads of chairs...serve loads of ppl in this camp. be it in my ministry or my ppl. this camp is really abt His Kingdom.

i guess sometimes memories and experiences alone wont be able 2 bring u far, but its abt ur faith, ur love and passion 4 Him. (wisdom as well...according 2 gideon.) well. 4 days 3 nights to allow me 2 find my stand. either there for the kingdom or back for the world. not goin 2 be stuck here n stonin my life away. 2 wks to c if im up for it. i counted the cost. im ready to pay the price. my desire for Him, let it burn once again. my wordly desires, let it be burned as well in tt spiritual fire and let it continue no more. all of Him and none of me. that's my desire.

if i shld fall and crumble to let Him pick me up, den let me fall and crumble.

all for His glorious Kingdom and His grace.

 

Yes and Amen.

it's the time for yhope's twice-per-year-standard-church-camp-that-yields-different-live-changing-experiences.

4 days 3 nights. a near 1 wk of pure solid fellowship wif the First Love and the ppl ard us.

Really wanna c big things changin in my life in this camp.

Wanna:

Grow more faitful

Attain a new conviction

More conviction

And ensure i wont get my usual stomach issues that happens on random'ness...dad nearly freaked out wen i told him tt.

...

...

And conviction.haha.

 

May God reveal His plan 2 me once more.

hmm. consider this a late post actually but ah well, lemme summarise it all up. the last page of the story is finally coming! with this ending a new story will start. some characters have gone to start their own legacy while the rest stayed behind to continue with a new chapter. 7 months had passed. 7 months of story now comin 2 an end. i wish and pray for the best of those castings of characters.

 

aniwaes. its finally the start of the hols. woot. this whole half a yr had been considered my most hectic, tirin, revitalising, more tirin, more recharged half a yr. many stuff had happened so fast and quickly i cant believe its alrdy half the yr. lots of relationships to be mend and many more to begin. im writin a new chapter for this legacy im leavin behind. and it's june once more.....at last. THE camp is HERE AGAIN!. can't wait for the many more life changin experiences that comes with it. more sleep-overs. more people...more roles as well. hahaha. apparently my prayer and complain had come to pass. my whines of always the game master had earned me not only the roles of game master but also house keeping team leader (omgxxzz...and yes i volunteered.) and also mama shop team leader (i haf no idea how i got into it..but i jus did). gonna be an interestin camp. wif so many roles pray tt i will be able 2 find tym for my ppl as well.

 

cant wait for more of this 1 mth br8k. really wanna use it 2 the fullest for my ppl and KOG. no tym 2 waste. the last page is ending and the new one is startin. now tym 2 dwindle. gotta start 2 move on. gotta start leavin legacies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

the cn cls had dinner wif daniel 2day. our new ldr 4 CN. talk lots of stuff and played lots of card games. a gr8 tym all together. well. it really seemed ages since i last blogged....my papers are finally over...4 now at least. at last i get the chance 2 slack and have more tym to spend with God and quality tym with my ppl. i realied how different things are wen we are new-believers and leaders. the roles....the maturity...the intimacy with God. new-believers have their fun. but, servin is nvr jus abt havin fun alone. its abt commitment. its abt others and not yourselves. its abt the cross...the truth above the feelings. the facts above the emotions.

 

well. gonna take some time to get some new books to read....be it xtian literature or novel...ok. i wld rather novels now. wanna brush up my language and sharpen it once more.

 

 

easter had officially passed. lots of stuff had went on. and now all i wan is 2 be back 2 tt child God had first set His eyes upon 3 yrs ago. wanna be back 4 a child lyk faith and a child 2 God as well. changin 2 who i was called 2 be in the first place. asides from tt. there's gonna be big changes ard. a heart wif mixed feelings. full of anticipation and excitement. let's move on once more 2 a new chapter.

easter svc had jus passed. but i doubt the feelin of easter this yr will be lost tt quickly...at least not 4 me. as the svc starts per norm. there were MANY song presentations this tym ard. the whole svc felt more....mature. it's still youthful but with the inclusions of ppl tt came 2 help from the adults grp and tertiary, the entire youth svc had matured along wif the ppl inside. haha. it was then and there i decided 2 open my heart once more 2 the Love that i had lost. the teaching from ps jeff made impacts here n there and life testimonies of ppl had really led me back 2 the eternal and powerful grace and love God have 4 the ppl. His presence was ever so tangible once more. i can't help but be moved by tt same King that had touched me 3yrs back. it was a love re-found. After the teaching ps shirley gave a song presentation of the song 'why' by nichole nordeman. the song was presented so vividly by paintings from our own youth ministry. the song brought abt the thoughts of 3 ppl. a child, Jesus and God. it was an intimate song...as though you are really understanding the thoughts that had gone through their minds some 2000 yrs ago. brought me so much closer to the heart of God. through that song i found my place in God ocne more. there were 2 worship b4 altar call: At The Cross and All For Love. I listened to both songs countless times, but on sat, the lyrics delivered a totally different message. it was Love. an element of pure Love that Christ had 4 us. who are we 2 be able 2 deserve such grace and love from Him from high. Overwhelmed by Your Love. My spirit now at ease in Your presence.

 

 

 

 

woot. slept from 8 in the morn to 5 in the evenin...now im lyk fully awake from yesterday's series of events. haha. had a cl retreat after service and stuff. even tho had a few things goin on after service and was not really tt fine...but God sent a retreat my way! haha. took a chartered bus 2 east coast and had a blast of games and food there. surprisingly, my team lost in all the games. wow. haha. after games we heard from eelee tt she's leavin 4 chile...or chilet...i dunno for 3 yrs of chuch planting. so cool, now she's gonna be able 2 speak fluent spanish. may God bless her life there! after a short tym of prayers i went lookin for drinks wif bk,ric,yenli,jess,nicole,eelee and shirley. walked all the way 2 the town area at east coast while complainin bout the weather and the lack of wind and etc etc.

 

reached the town area soon enuf and went right str8 for 7/11. bought double super big gulps and the rain started. met daniel and the few of us were stuck at this lttl shelter wif a table soccer. hahaha. interestin stuff happened over there. 2 much details 2 describe so haha. u hafta be there 2 noe it. haha. played some OG games one in particular is called 'tiu tiu tiu'. don ask me y, it's jus name tt way. hahaha. somehow tt game made us real high as it went on. haha. we ended in mac after the rain stopped and played some good mafia...unlike the ones siyuan cr8ed wen he was in cg. haha. lotsa drama narrations from eelee and leavin lots of hints on who's the mafia by the 'brushin of hair'. apparently, daniel's hair seems 2 haf a brushin sound wen eelee tapped his heard wif her straw. continued playin till past midnight b4 makin our way back. the doors were locked by then so we had 2 make a long way round back.

 

did not went back 4 long and soon the remainin few of us, bk, me, ric, jess and yenli went 2 play munchkin at the back court of the place where we are stayin. haha. in tt game, Man's carnal nature can be seen vividly. haha. bk's scornin and yenli's complainin. haha. played till 4 plus b4 goin out 2 the beach and by then, im half dead. darn tired. had a long walk b4 reachin our bus stop and on our way home...by which i was dead on my bed till lyk...2 hrs ago.

it was a God given retreat 4 both my spirit and my physical life. cant help but thx God for this really gr8 family He had given 2 me.

 

zzz. darn tired right now..but if i don do this entry now i doubt i will be ever postin it up. aniwaes, jus for all u folks out there who had heard that i wanted to take spanish...i AM takin spanish officially startin from 3 days back. and yes it is S.L.I.C.K. everythin abt it is slick. had my first lesson which is actually the first or the second lesson alrdy. taught by this swedish dude who right wen he came in spoke in rapid spanish and leadin me stunned down there lyk an oddball. but the gd thing is bcus of him barely doin anythin in eng..i hafta force myself to absorb wat he said in spanish to the very lttl eng he linked it wif so it did me gd overall. learned how to introduce myself and colors. cool lesson. cant wait till next wk.

 

had cg 2day and praise God there were 4 visitors there 4 cg.woot. ate and talked rubbish wif this dude called astley. ate at j8 b4 meetin bk and travellin to dhobby gaut 4 shepherdin...hafta stop halfway since catchin a 9 o clock show wif a few others...continuin the lesson tmr morn at 9.wow. im amazed at my own self discipline to wake on tym. watched true happiness or smth....wat the hell...such a depressing show...it showed this dude (will smith) bein in misery for 2 hours b4 his life got 4 the better for the last 10min...darn sad.

that's abt it for now. full stop.

 

 

 

Yep.that sounds very like my daily life. But that's not all

 

 

haha. i had been editin/readin my entries of wat i had been postin ever since i had this blog and i can't help but feel this joy in my heart as i see how God had brought me from who i was then to who i am now. really glad to know that even though there might be times i will be facin the worst case scenario in my life, but jus like how all this blog entries testify abt my life in His family and my walk with Him, surely He will bring me through all situations. Im amazed at the amt of stuff i haf in this Space..haha. As i read through entries of past events and stuff, 1 thing i definitely give thanks for is the Family He had given and provided me with. Jus so amazing, how He met my every need. Now as i read through my entries, (yes i noe sometimes this space has barely anythin but hey, quality over quantity) i jus wanna really take this time to jus acknowledge His great plan for my life and the beauty of His grace. W/o that i am nothin. W/o true Love i would'nt haf found true Purpose in livin. And definitely, His ever so great and crazy family He given me called Central North. ha. how i had grew spiritually with this Family ever since i first step foot into Nexus. Memories of how various ppl had encouraged me through my darkest times with the assurance of salvation for me ever so vivid in both my mind and soul. How can i ever forsake this family for A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G of the world.

Indeed. It is His Family in my life.    

 

 

tt's it. cny holiday break is officially over. hafta get my butt out of bed at 0630 againtmr morn. but it definitely ended in a cool way. went 4 house visitation 2day...visited nicole, paul and victor. had a blast even b4 everythin started. jarhead and stuntwoman crashed at my house in the morn...ate instant noodles packed with ingredients from sat's reunion dinner. fantastic, now we noe stuntwoman can be trusted if we need her for a maid trainin agency. ha. korean prince joined us shortly after and due to them arrivin late and the noodles cookin late...we needed 2 rush off right after the entire meal to bishan under tt dumb hot sun. after the entire visitation where we were filled with dinner and more cny harvest, stuntwoman, thinker, jarhead, korean prince, nard and i rushed to cineplex 2 catch protege...which ended up as pool since no seats were available. played pool for a while b4 checkin out lido and findin seats there. but on the way there the korean prince and nard left 4 home so the remainin 4 catch the movie ourselves. gr8t movie, learnt lots of new principles.

Overall, gr8t day and definitely the greatest cny celebrated.

 

wow-ing.cny this yr is definitely a diff one from the one i haf all my life.went to my uncle's hse for cny visitation....standard every yr.collect some really major red packets...standard every yr.spendin tym outside as a bunch called Yhope at ps and watchin crazy movie tt lasted all the way till 130am.....definitely NOT somethin that ever happened in my life. went to meet cs and a few others at ps at 8...which turned out from wat i thought was a 5 ppl outin to a 13 ppl outin...bruce along wif it. had wasted tym tryin 2 get tickets but thx God managed to get the one for norbit at 1145. late i noe but that's part of the whole point.haha. and since we had so much tym 2 slack we went for some arcade crashin...omg, i suck at dmania...no longer am i gonna touch tt machine ever again. was half guidin and half helpin jess wif time crisis 3 and finally got to try tc 4. woot. the improvement of graphics were definitely notable...since both tc3 and 4 were placed side by side. wanted to try out house of the dead 4 but there's only a player available so no point playin solo. in conclusion, arcade drained my cash faster than anythin. watchewd norbit...omg, u need to laugh mindlessly and need to throw somethin up, watch it. sad tt we cant catch protege...got front seats...terrible neck ache right now..urgh. interestin as u watch ppl turnin here n there tryin 2 get a comfortable position.overall:great day to start cny and definitely the greatest cny cele i had.

 

It's Ur family in my life. 

wow.wat an amazin/horrifyin nite. jus abt 3 hrs ago...right after unit cg...which had a dose of siyuan's insane way of a game master was the shark...strikin terror into the hearts of mine and ric's. it had been a long tym since somethin so disastrous had happened...especially wen the shark had transfered. but wen he strikes...its so fast and lethal...u cant escape w/o bein affected in one way or another. haha. slacked at entertainment mac....saw the vaio again.....zzz...so darn cool....so close yet so far. haha. the stuntwoman had need for the wacom so she, the korean prince and tt ever terrifyin shark dropped by my house...my folks were P.L.E.A.S.E.D to see the shark...i wonder y. had finally managed to get my ff xii out of my ps2...but shark took it off wif my guidebk...ah well.since my ps2 cant play it either. watched youtube videos and tested my speakers...slacked...b4 sendin em off in 1 pack. haha. indeed. an amazin/horrifyin nite. lots of stuff that had happened in the past came back once the shark arrived...stuntwoman was laughin throughout the whole journey back 2 my house. dunno wat's wrong wif her sometimes. haha. thx God for such a fruitful day.

such an experience. to be able 2 learn practical stuff from our pastor in thailand, david chen. lotsa funny stuff was on as well. haha. we, the youths, ARE the largest in Hope Sg..haha. those that were there will be able 2 identify wif me wat's the joke abt...4 those that's arent..well, be a CL soon and u will get it as well. haha. managed to get a question that's been buggerin me answered...super fruitful session i had. there was no teachings but managed to take down one of the longest notes i ever had for a long time.

 

Went for pool after that. well, watched chee sun, braynard, yenli and ric played. practically slacked there. went to orchard afterwards...was at heeren's tryin out different ripcurls' caps and stuff. took a few photos b4 finally gettin caught. and wat's cooler is tt nearly ALL the photos yenli took were upside-down. and to think we were actually thot she was pretty gd at photography b4 we realised the results of the photos. ah well, thx God still can edit the photos 2 be the other way round via picture viewer. went to hmv and F.I.N.A.L.L.Y found visual kei bands albums....BLOODY EX. dir en grey albums nvr cost less than 70 there. wth. zzz. gonna get it still tho...maybe not dir en grey...mois dix moi or some other bands...dunno. feel lyk wastin money again. ha. went down the streets of orchard again and ate ice cream...there was a new flavor in those street ice cream vendors i realised....had chopped nuts...either i had not ate ice cream for a long tym or it really IS a new flavor. dunno. at far east wif no purpose and simply walkin ard aimlessly. By braynard's out of sudden generous spirit...haha...jk. don think my sheep tt stingy. haha. aniwaes...he bought us subway cookies.!darn nice...headed off after tt thru tpy 2gether. cant help but thx God for the wonderful family He gave me includin the package of grace and eternal life.

 

right. i have lyk 4 min b4 i leave my house 2 schl..but if i don update this blog now think i wont update it 4 a while. lotsa stuff happened recently. be it in my walk or my schl. 3 wks of strayin off led me back 2 the Kingdom and the ever eternal grace God had given me. nvr will i wanna stray off again. celebrated ruth's bday last sat at istana...really cool event. will be updatin the photos soon. and im gonna learn spanish soon! woot! need to ask sw for the details. yep. k i gotta head 2 schl...at least now the blog's updated again.